As I was packing up my things before leaving, I came across a small notebook that I had written in 6 years ago. Too few pages were scribbled in it, but I found this:<\/p>\n
I would have loved to be a traveler, but I realize that I'm not. I don't feel right here, I'm not at home, I miss too many things. I miss people, especially Netty, who occupies all my thoughts.<\/em><\/p>\n
Montreal, March 2004<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
All in all, I have excellent memories of those 5 months in Canada; I made friends there, started going out and stopped writing.<\/p>\n
I've been here for almost 3 weeks now, and I'm finally starting to write down a few words about the real answer to \"why? It was there, I knew why, but I couldn't explain it clearly.<\/p>\n
I always knew I wasn't the lonely type. I love evenings out with friends more than anything, I've never been able to go to the cinema on my own, I've almost always preferred to live with a flatmate, I don't really like being single... Until I realized, over time, that I couldn't really be happy when I was alone. For some people, this might seem normal, but for me it's scary.<\/p>\n
I believe that happiness should be self-sufficient. I may not be a loner, but I refuse to let my state of well-being depend on others.<\/p>\n
I've been preparing to leave for a while now, but it's been put off several times, and it was even more painful than expected. To free yourself from others, you have to start by cutting the ties that bind you to them. So this journey is purely and simply selfish. I'd like to be able to feel good, happy, satisfied, without owing anything to anyone, without that happiness depending on anyone else.<\/p>\n
I've only been here a short time, but I'm already beginning to catch glimpses of small, furtive moments of solitary happiness. And as I intend - for the time being - to continue this logbook, I'll mark these little moments with the following indication: **<\/p>\n
If the frequency of ** increases as my story progresses, that's a good sign. If I stop writing, that's a very good sign.<\/p>\n
PS : J’ai tout \u00e0 fait conscience que ce blog, ce journal de bord, est encore un lien fort qui me lie \u00e0 eux, \u00e0 vous, et que le couper serait n\u00e9cessaire si ont s’en tien \u00e0 ma th\u00e9orie… Et bien j’y songe, mais pas tout de suite, je prendrais mon temps.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
En rangeant mes affaires avant le d\u00e9part, je suis tomb\u00e9 avec \u00e9tonnement sur un petit carnet, o\u00f9 j\u2019avais \u00e9cri il y a 6 ans. Trop peu de pages y \u00e9taient griffonn\u00e9es, mais j\u2019y ai trouv\u00e9 ceci : Moi qui aurait tant aim\u00e9 \u00eatre un voyageur, je m\u2019aper\u00e7ois que je n\u2019en suis pas un. Je ne […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[819],"tags":[204,230,318,330,365,424],"class_list":["post-549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humeurs-nepal","tag-humeur","tag-les-autres","tag-pourquoi","tag-raison","tag-solitaire","tag-voyageur"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/remichapeaublanc.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/549","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/remichapeaublanc.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/remichapeaublanc.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/remichapeaublanc.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/remichapeaublanc.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=549"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/remichapeaublanc.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/549\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8038,"href":"https:\/\/remichapeaublanc.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/549\/revisions\/8038"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/remichapeaublanc.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=549"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/remichapeaublanc.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=549"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/remichapeaublanc.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=549"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}